Sunday, August 28, 2011

Two Paths.

Lately, I have been having a hard time living in reality. I have split my life into reality and fairy tale to find happiness. I have been staying busy with school, work, and stressful thoughts. Struggling to find time to see my friends and my family. Struggling to find myself. Happiness has been hard to find. When I find happiness, I call it a fairy tale, because it's hard to believe that I can be that happy at that certain time. Do I step into my fairy tale and try to find everlasting happiness with a significantly large amount of potential of getting hurt deeper than I ever have? Or do I stick with reality and keep living life the same way I have been for years now? I say years, because my happiness never fully stays. It goes up and down like a roller coaster and it makes me sick to my stomach. I stress myself out so bad that it's hard to get up in the morning and motivate myself. In my fairy tale, I feel confident, extremely happy and like nobody can stop me. I feel like I can concur the world and fulfill all of my dreams. But if I risk myself by entering and things go bad, reality is going to set in deeper and the hurt may be unbearable. I try to live by my motto of "Everything Happens For A Reason" so maybe I just go with the happiness and hope I can still believe in my motto.