Cannot Move On.

I met him in November 2008 and my life changed. I knew what my future looked like and I knew who was going to be standing next to me throughout it all. I knew who my husband was going to be, my best friend, and the father of my children. Three and a half years have passed and he's gone. My heart hurts, an actual physical pain each time it beats. My mind is always thinking about him and missing him. Every time I think of what he may be doing or the other girl, I feel sick to my stomach. I feel completely broken inside and out. I look at our daughter, and I see the sadness in her eyes. She lays on his side of the bed, cuddles up on his clothes and gets excited each time she hears somebody walk past the apartment door, hoping it's her father that will walk through the door. We had our future planned out together. The photos were ready for the wedding slideshow. We knew which guitar chords would be played as I walked down the aisle with my father by my side during our wedding. We chose our children's names. We had it all figured out and loved each other deeply. I just cannot imagine my future any other way, so I am having a tough time figuring out how to rethink/redo my future plans. As I write this, my stomach is swirling. My weight has dropped and I have pushed everyone away from me. I don't know what to do. I cannot imagine moving on...